Oh just bucket, originally uploaded by shelbinator.

This is my toilet. My toilet has a bucket. My toilet has a bucket for to flush, not for to poop in. My toilet, she no flush since the New Year’s Day. The toilet, she resolve to not eat so much poop, like me, only more literal-like.

I call awesome landlord on New Year’s Day, wish happy new year, and ask for to please come fix pooper. Plumber take sweet time coming over on not-so-New-Year’s Day, so I go to office for to work. And for to poop. I come back to find note from plumber promise to fix pooper the next day. Cannot fix the pooper that day, must shut off water to whole building. Building very sad. No one to poop for three hours.

Plumber leave bucket. Bucket is for to flush, says note. Living in BSM Investments building like being caveman, says Shelby. BSM even sound like poop, which is deceiving, for there is no to pooping in here. Just the BSM taking the money. Not taking the poop.

Today, water on all day. Building happy! Everybody poop! Except for Shelby. Water on all day because plumber lied. Plumber no come get bucket, no come fix toilet. Shelby sad.

Methinks I just start to poop in bucket. “Here is your bucket! Thank you for bucket! Good luck with bucket,” will say I.

F’ing bucket.