Several times over the last two weeks, I’ve gotten a phone call from a familiar exchange: 574-631-XXXX. Though the change in area code fooled me once a couple years ago, I’ve since learned to be careful when answering those calls, as it’s undoubtedly a bright-eyed undergrad working in the Development Office at the University of Notre Dame calling to ask me for more money. So, two weeks ago when I got the first call, I ignored it; I’m currently unemployed and wasn’t making all that much when I got a research stipend, so I didn’t need the guilt trip or the eligibility to buy football tickets. (That’s the prime motivator for donating at all: the education was nice and everything, and I want to help out in the future, but when it comes down to brass tacks, we all give money so we can buy football tickets.)

The first week, Notre Dame football was 0-1, falling to my current tormentor, Georgia Tech. That might’ve resulted in some saucy banter with whatever kid called to get my $100.

The second week, after an ugly road loss to Joe Pa and Penn State, would have seen a conversation with the college telemarketer akin to a theological debate about the end of the world, in hushed, foreboding whispers.

WeisThe third week, after a thorough, prison-rape 38-0 loss to Michigan…the phone stopped ringing. Four business days into it, I haven’t gotten a single call from 574-631-XXXX, after five previous attempts. Is five the magic number when they give up on a donor? Or did the development office just realize that this wasn’t going to be their best season, either, and wisely close its phone bank until the football team manages to put one in the ‘W’ column?

It’s a strange time to quit asking for money, considering how much they’re going to have to spend to buy that fat bastard Charlie Weis out of his totally undeserved 10-year contract.



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