Wed 26 Sep 2007
Return of the Fundamentalists
Posted by shelbinator under Culture, Politics, Random, Religion
The Christians are back on campus this week, right on schedule. I already gushed last year about how proud it makes me of our country that we can have public shouting matches like this in the public forum and walk away unscathed, and I’m no less giddy about it this year. God love ‘em, those fundamentalists, for having the chutzpah to stand up to hours of ridicule and argument each day for a week, as they hold up their “Homo Sex is Sin” and “You Deserve Hell” signs while preaching to mostly deaf ears.
Their ability to speak their mind on campus was particularly poignant this week, what with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stirring up all that trouble in New York City the last couple days, so I made the preachers a special sign to add to the gallery of counter-demonstrations.
September 27th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Nice!
Reminds me - I went to UGA, and we’d get some preachers in like this every now and again. One would always come while he was visibly drunk, which was pretty great. That, or he was in the later phases of tardive dyskinesia from taking his antipsychotics for too long. Then again, it always seemed like he was the type not to take his meds…
At one point, one of them said to us, “Do you know how to stop the sin of… masturbation?!”
As one, we launched back, “GET LAID.”
I mean, seriously, who has a dramatic pause before saying the word ‘masturbation?’ Ooo, get all Bela Lugosi on me, big scary preacher guy.
September 27th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
I’m pretty sure we were listening to the same guy — the one who talked about how he used to be a big “reefer-head” and who uses lots of Elvis-like postures and gestures to punctuate his points? While wearing suspenders and a belt?
He scolded us for masturbation yesterday and declared that “you cannot find real joy in masturbation!”
I couldn’t resist shouting back, “Jesus, you must be doing it wrong! No wonder you’re so angry!”
September 27th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
“You’re not supposed to punch yourself in the groin! That’s not masturbation!”
Well, not for most people.
Suspenders and a belt? That is tragic. I wish they’d had those back in Jesus’ times - he might’ve told people to avoid that, as well as the whole ’sandals + socks’ thing. Bleh.
A big “reefer head?” My favorites were the guys who said they were huge womanizers - in thought. The whole thing about sinning in thought is pretty hilarious to me, really. If I think about murdering the guy who cuts me off in traffic, who dies as a result? Sinning in thought is essentially a way to get everyone on the Sin Bandwagon, and make some really devout people freakishly afraid of “thinking the wrong thing,” which makes it happen all the more. I guess they don’t get the fact that ‘thought police’ is not a positive term.